Pregnancy epidemic in the loft!

As Maury would say, "Mike, you are NOT the father!" Meet four of the folks who bring you Prime News every night at 5 Eastern on CNN Headline News. From left to right: "Rock of Love" fan: Jennifer Williams, euphonium virtuoso: Robyn Sjogren, Prime News' moral center: Mike Galanos & dog lover: Katy Rogers.

I've mentioned here before that "News To Me" shares office space at CNN Center with the team from "Prime News." Our area is known as "The Loft," because it's a low-ceilinged space, tucked away up a flight of stairs from the main studio. Lately those stairs have been bringing some extra staff to the loft thanks to not 1, not 2, but THREE pregnancies amongst our Prime News colleagues! Including a set of twins! One of the guys on the Prime News crew (not pictured above) is also expecting! Well, his wife is... funny that we have to qualify that now. Thanks, "Oprah's pregnant man!"

My concern is what effect our close proximity to all those pregnancy hormones may have on the "News To Me" staff. Except for Summer-Intern Mandy (who is already honing her maternal instincts on Gracie, her 4 month old Maltese) we're all guys on "News To Me" so any baby announcements would have to come from a significant other. That means 4 members of this team are at risk!

Due to the drastic effect the loss of 4 team members for simultaneous paternity leave would have on this show we are looking into erecting some type of "Andromeda Strain" containment field around our area of the loft for the next 9 months. I've been in touch with the CDC here in Atlanta and it turns out that the cost to construct a truly "baby-bump" free zone would equal something close to Sarah Jessica Parker's shoe budget. Since the "News To Me" shoe budget barely covers the cost of Eric's flip flops... the high-tech anti-embryo defense system plan is out.

Those 4 high-risk "News To Me'ers" will just have to rely on self-control... something none of us possess a lot of. Guess I'll go ahead and put in the order for infant sized "News To Me" baby tees, and "My First YouTube" video cameras.

Seriously though, Mazel Tov to all our preggers Prime News friends! With 5 new potential "Headline News" viewers on the way I feel a ratings spike in the Zero to one-year-old demo in about 5 months!